FAQ: Memorial Services

In the most simple terms, a memorial service is not a funeral. Both ceremonies have structure; both are intended to bring a community together in support and remembrance. However, one is far more formal than the other. A memorial service is not lead by clergy, but instead, guided by a celebrant or master-of-ceremonies. It provides all who attend the service an opportunity to participate on some level, not just to observe and reflect.

Visualize a memorial service as a mid-point on the spectrum between a celebration-of-life and a funeral. On one end is the more formally-structured, clergy-led funeral service (often with three component parts: the visitation, funeral and a committal service held at the cemetery). At the other end is the celebration-of-life; an event where the life of the deceased–their passions and personal accomplishments are the main focus. A funeral isn't truly celebratory, where a celebration-of-life is all about celebration. A memorial service could be said to be a gentle mix of the two; but in all honesty, each memorial service is unique. Speak with your funeral professional for further insights.

We don't believe it's part of our job to tell you what's best for your situation; instead, our job is to show you the spectrum of possibilities. We can explain your options, make suggestions; all with the goal of empowering you to arrive at the best possible decision.

The answer to this is totally dependent upon the special features you've selected during the arrangement conference. When you sit down with a funeral director to discuss service costs, you'll receive a copy of the firm's General Price List which will detail all the basic professional services included in the price of your loved one's memorial service, as well as the cost of any additional products or services you've purchased. Contact us to get a better idea of what your loved one's memorial service will include, as well as what it will cost.

Some of the things you'll discuss with your funeral director involve purchases made from outside vendors, and you will be asked to pay for those items at the time of the arrangement conference. One of the most common fees is charged by a newspaper to print your loved one's obituary. Another cash advance charge could be for clergy or musician's fees, floral arrangements, reception items, such as food/beverage or facility rental. Your funeral director will provide you with a detailed invoice for all of these cash advance items.

The vendors we work with such as the newspapers, florists, caterers and musicians, all require us to pay for goods and services when ordered or at the time of delivery. To maintain a good relationship with them requires us to charge you for them at the end of the arrangement conference. Your funeral director will take time to explain any and all of the necessary cash advance expenses incurred as part of your service planning.

A good rule of thumb is to expect to pay at the time the service contract is signed (at the time of the arrangement conference, or soon afterwards). Speak with your funeral director to discuss this in more detail.

We've actually written a number of pages on memorial service planning, but to summarize, it's main tasks are selecting the location, date and time of the service. You'll be asked to identify the specific readings, musical selections, food or beverages, and/or the activities you'd like to feature, as well as the people you would like to participate in the service itself. Memorial service planning isn't difficult; it's actually empowering. After all, you have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to show the world how much your loved one meant to you. We invite you to speak with one of our service planning professionals to learn more.

The benefit of a memorial service is that you can choose how much you would like to be involved. Certainly, your funeral director will need you to specify certain details: the where and when, for example. Together you'll make important decisions about other specifics, but once those decisions are made, you can "step back" and let us handle everything or have as much input as you please.

You'll need to provide the documents/information required to complete your loved one's death certificate and obituary. You may also wish to bring in a collection of family photographs to be used in making a tribute video or in the decoration of the service location. Other items may be needed at some point, depending on the arrangements made. Your funeral director will provide you with an exact list of the things he or should would like you to bring along to the arrangement conference.

A celebrant is a person who has been trained to conduct formal ceremonies, such as weddings, baptisms and funerals. They are not clergy; instead they are experienced masters-of-ceremony and story-tellers. A celebrant works closely with surviving family to create a ceremony which reflects the beliefs, cultural background, values and aspirations of your deceased loved one, and your family. If you think you would be best served by a celebrant, please speak with your funeral director.

It's common for the funeral director who met with you during the arrangement conference to take the responsibility of writing the obituary. You will support them in doing so by providing them with the necessary legal documents (birth certificates, military records, and marriage or divorce decrees) and other important details about your loved one's life. If you, or another family member or friend, wish to write the obituary, we can help to guide you through the process.