Funeral vs. Celebrations of Life

It's interesting; funerals and celebrations of life have much in common, yet they often appear very different. Each is a ceremony; a gathering of people who share a common loss. It's just that one is more rooted in tradition, while the other is the result of recent changes in social values. But both serve to do three things:
  1. Help the bereaved family, and their community, publicly acknowledge the death of one of their own
  2. Support the grieving family by surrounding them with caring friends, co-workers, and neighbors
  3. Move the deceased from one social status to another
Yet they achieve those things in very different ways. First, let's take a closer look at what most of us commonly see as very traditional funerals.

The Funeral

It's not surprising funerals have been around for a very long time. Composed of three activities, the visitation, the funeral service, and the committal service, performed at the graveside; this funeral is the one we'd easily recognize from contemporary literature and film.

The Visitation

Held prior to the funeral, often the night before but sometimes on the same day, the visitation (or viewing) is a time when people come to support the family and, more importantly, pay their respects to the deceased. This often involves stepping up to the casket to view the body; either in the company of a member of the surviving family or on your own.

The Funeral Service

Commonly held in the funeral home or church, the traditional funeral service is led by an officiant of one kind or another; most commonly a pastor or the funeral director. This individual follows a very predictable funeral order of service which includes the singing of hymns; and invocations, Bible recitations, Scripture readings, and prayers led by the officiant.

The Committal Service

This takes place at the cemetery, after a slow and respectful automobile procession from the place where the funeral was held. The committal service ends when the casketed remains are lowered into the ground, and final prayers are said.

If you'd like to know more about the history of funerals in the United States, you may like to visit the website of the National Museum of Funeral History. But for now, it's enough to know that a funeral service traditionally has these three distinct components. Now let's look at a celebration of life service.

What is a Celebration of Life?

Many families today want a service which celebrates the life of their loved one. We introduce them to the concept of a celebration of life service, and provide support in designing a celebration of life that is as unique as the life of their loved one.

We always enjoy working together with families in planning a celebration of life for their loved one. While it can be a challenge to put together an event that both pays tribute to and celebrates the life and spirit of a complex individual, it's also one of the most rewarding things any one of us can do for someone we've loved and lost.
Author Barbara Kingsolver, in her book The Poisonwood Bible, wrote “To live is to be marked. To live is to change, to acquire the words of a story, and that is the only celebration we mortals really know.” We think this reflection is at the heart of a celebration of life. While a funeral, as we've described it above, has more to do with the orderly and often spiritually-defined, a celebration-of-life is more concerned with telling the story of the deceased. Celebrations of life are just that: a time people come together more to celebrate the unique personality and achievements of the deceased than to merely witness or mark the change in their social status.

Celebrations of life are similar to memorial services, which can be described as a hybrid event: combining the flexibility of a celebration of life with many of the activities of a traditional funeral order-of-service.

There's more room for creativity in a celebration of life than a funeral. Since celebrations of life are commonly held after the individual's physical remains have been cared for through burial or cremation, there is much more time available to plan the event. And without doubt, this allows you to make better decisions about how you'd like to celebrate the life of someone you dearly loved.

Celebration of Life Ideas

If you're planning a celebration of life for your loved one but need some assistance in coming up with an idea for the service, we have outlined some unique celebration of life ideas below:

The Movie Lover

Who doesn’t love getting cozy under a blanket to sit back and watch a movie? If you want to celebrate your loved one’s appreciation for cinema, you could plan a movie themed celebration of life. To do this, you could decorate the space with some of their favorite movie posters and feature references or memorabilia from their favorite films. If you want the service to be extra special – plan to screen their favorite movie and have popcorn and snacks for all your guests to enjoy.

The Painter

Painting can be quite therapeutic. If this is how your loved one enjoyed spending their time, plan to hold a paint night to remember and celebrate them. Guests could paint something in memory of your loved one or try to replicate one of their pieces of work. You could also bring in some of their work and use the service as a way to showcase their talent and help decorate the space for the celebration of life. 

The Chef

Did your loved one have a passion for cooking? If so, celebrate it with a potluck or dinner party. You could encourage guests to each make one of your loved one’s favorite dishes and bring it to the celebration of life. If you don’t want to ask people to bring food, consider creating little cookbooks of your loved one’s favorite recipes to share with the guests. This uniquely personal keepsake will help maintain a connection with the deceased and let their recipes live on for others to enjoy.

Are You Undecided? Turn to Us.

We've got years of experience listening, brainstorming, and advising families how they can best pay tribute to a beloved family member. That means we're the perfect people to help you decide between a funeral and a celebration of  life. We'll explore your funeral service options with you in detail, taking all the time you need.

In the book Chocolat, by Joanne Harris, you'll find this fundamental truth: “Life is what you celebrate. All of it. Even its end.”  As funeral professionals we help families express reverence for life. Let us do that for your family. Call our funeral home to speak with a member of our staff.
Sources: 
  1. Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible 
  2. Joanne Harris, Chocolat
  3. Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life & Mourning Death, Sara York